a presentation of ... Creative Healing, LLC
Opening The Heart Of Western Medicine
Field Guide to
What Really Matters:
Presence
The Path of Presence
The Path of Presence arrives in the middle of the journey. Having worked through suffering, love, and forgiveness we now prepare energetically for the stages of higher consciousness that will follow.
The first task is to become grounded in your body and fully aware of your connection to this Earth. Learn to soothe and regulate your nervous system so you can stay focused on this present moment.
Life unfolds only in the here and now so continue to practice letting go of your past regrets and future worries. This moment is all that really matters.
When you can stabilize in the present moment you will have greater access to your intuition and also to joy and love, which only exist in the minuscule and yet infinite space of the now.
The Long Gaze
When I was a child growing up in Wyoming I accompanied my father on many fishing and hunting trips. Though I never wanted to hunt or fish myself I spent many hours following him on mountain trails and by rivers, streams, and lakes watching while he pursued his hobby.
Dad taught me to sneak up slowly and quietly on his favorite fly fishing holes, making sure our shadows
didn't fall upon the water because the trout are keenly aware of everything in their environment. He could spot exactly the right curve of the stream bank where the trout might be resting and could cast his line there with just the right touch.
In hunting season we would walk carefully through the sagebrush and pines, tracking the deer as they grazed across the mountainside. He could spot a single deer across a canyon with an eagle eye and taught me the "long gaze" of focusing but also relaxing your vision just enough to see the smallest motion. He also taught me to listen for the slightest rustle or snap of a twig.
Many years later I was out for a run in the foothills when I heard a sound up ahead. Instinctively I stopped and crouched low, quieting my breathing and focusing up ahead to see what was on the trail. That's when I spotted a young fox and a rattlesnake seemingly playing together on the trail. I crouched low and advanced slowly to get the best vantage point. then I just watched them - having totally forgotten about my run.
The fox would hop and run little circles around the coiled snake which would occasionally move as if to strike but didn’t. The fox continued to come close and jump back while the snake danced along with the rhythm. I didn't know if I was witnessing two predators challenging one another or a rehearsal for a more serious match in the future, but it was fascinating.
I stayed in my crouch and watched until the fox turned and ran down the hill and the snake slithered off under the sagebrush. I felt like I'd just experienced a holy moment. And without the skills of listening, long vision, and quiet stillness that Dad taught me I might have missed it altogether.
I didn't know when I was younger that these were actually spiritual lessons - that I was learning how to sit and watch for signs and be still for long periods of time. I didn't know how that would serve me in my hospice work one day - and in my own spiritual life.
What if nothing matters more that this single breath you are breathing now?
What if life only exists right now, right here where you are?
What if you have everything you need in this moment?
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Photos
Coffee mug that says Be Present inside.
Log bridge across a stream
Deer on a mountain hillside
Coffee mug that says Be Present inside.
Music
by Lenzspot
Bedside Wisdom
I had the privilege of being at my mother's bedside during the last week of her life while she received hospice care in her own home. As a hospice physician myself I started out thinking I was perfectly qualified to handle anything I might encounter as her caregiver, but I actually knew very little about the caregiver role. I was used to assessing an end-of-life situation as an outsider--where I could see the family dynamics clearly and quickly recognize the needs of the patient by tuning in.
I didn't know how helpless I would feel while I was caring for my own mother. Not only did we clash constantly over the smallest of things--how long to heat the water for tea, which side of the heating pad to use, which lotion to put on her feet--but I recognized that I didn't have some basic and necessary skills, like helping her get safely back into bed when she started to fall out.
I felt like a child when she scolded me and I was desperate to please her. Of course in my hospice physician role I would know that these are all normal occurrences but I was no longer Doctor Karen ... I was Daughter Karen who had somehow done the wrong thing once again.
By some grace we got through those challenges--I got her back into bed, I heated the tea exactly to her preferred temperature, I massaged her legs with just the right amount of pressure. And then she began to slip away quickly.
I wanted everything to be perfect for her as she left her body so I wiped her brow, arranged her covers, offered her a swabstick for her mouth, tucked her hair behind her ears, moved her pillows, held her hand, offered to read prayers and play music--but she didn't want any of those gestures. She kicked her covers off and I covered her again so she wouldn't get cold. And then she kicked them off again ... and again. Finally with great effort she opened her eyes and said, "I'm hot!"
In that moment I realized I was "doing" what I thought she needed for support in her last hours. But she didn't need me to do anything. She needed me to be.
I brought a chair close to the bed and sat down. I stopped fussing over her and just listened to her breathing. I waited and watched with her.
Vigil.
Silence broken only by her irregular breathing.
The long gaze, the deep listening.
Holding a safe space that asked nothing of her.
A space of love that allowed her be fully present to her own dying ... while I cherished every single last moment.
Practices
For the Path of Presence these practices emphasize regulating the nervous system and creating a sense of safety in the present moment. Pick one or two to utilize when you are under stress and heed help getting back to your own calm center.
Hover over each image to read about the practices
designed for this path.
On your “Life Journey Map" mark a time when you had exactly what you needed to get through an experience – when the stars seemed to align and everything worked out perfectly even though it didn’t seem possible.
1. Find a natural surface and stand barefoot. Take 3 deep breaths and feel your feet pressed into the ground. 2. Begin to walk slowly and focus on the earth beneath your feet. 3. Imagine any tension melting and flowing down through your feet and being absorbed by the earth. 4. To end the walk plant your feet firmly on the ground and take one more slow deep breath.
The 5 Steps: 1.Hand on Heart – Remind your body you are safe and loved. 2. Deep Breath with Long Exhale – Calm the nervous system with a soothing breath. 3. Look Up – Gaze at the sky or ceiling to shift perspective. 4. Say: Right now, I’m okay – Ground your mind in present-moment safety. 5. Think of One Gratitude – Shift your energy gently toward peace.
Breathe in for 6 counts. As you exhale for 8 counts hum out loud. You can either hum a single note or hum a familiar tune that you find comforting. Repeat for 5-10 breaths. Humming stimulates your vagus nerve and increases relaxation.
Journaling Prompts: What thoughts tend to keep you stuck in the past? When do you worry about the future? Where in your life are you focused on doing rather than being in the moment? When do you feel safe and what helps you feel calm inside?
5-4-3-2-1 Practice From your observation spot notice and write about the following: 5 things you can see 4 things you can feel 3 things you hear 2 things you smell 1 thing you taste
Pocket Wisdom 1. Life - and its joy and sorrow and love and loss - exists only in this moment. 2. You have a calm center within you that knows what to do and doesn't collapse with worry ... if you are able to recognize it. 3. Life will always pull you off center and your task is to learn how to return to your own safety. Write these in your journal to remember as you move on to other paths.
Explore Another Path
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